Why do women always feel like they have to be perfect?
Whether it was how we were raised, how we tried to fit in at school or the workplace, or how we watched social cues of what a woman was supposed to act like — we have somehow been stuck in this box of perfection.
Sometimes I find myself in that box, and then I remember I don’t have to be there and I get myself out.
I’ve heard things like:
“Being perfect was the only way to ensure everything was safe and everything was healthy.”
“Working towards perfection was how I maintained control in chaos.”
“If I was good, and did everything right, then maybe they would see me and love me more.”
Damn. That is a high bar to meet every day. What if we stopped people pleasing, did not feel like we had to control everything, and let things around us be chaos?
How would that feel?
I know it does not always feel good to me. I like things to be in order and to feel safe. And who does not like to feel loved?
And yet, that box of perfection we might be stuck in limits us to feel what we really feel. It limits creativity. Imagine what new ideas you might find in the mess!
Guess what? From what I can tell, perfection does not exist! So how about looking at why we are trying to strive towards something that does not exist?
If you think — shit, Tami, I don’t know where to start — I can help with that. We start with looking at your thoughts towards perfection, why you try to control the chaos, and where you are looking for love and approval. Sign up for a quick chat with me to learn more.
