I cannot seem to get the word “performative” out of my head.
Performative: “an action taken specifically with an audience in mind, to elicit a response or reaction”
I bet you could lose count of the amount of moments in your day where you are performing. I’ll give you some examples:
At work: When are you reading the room, deciding how you are going to show up based on what is happening around you?
On social media: Why are you posting the content you are sharing? To inspire? For a response? For the comments or likes?
With family: How often with extended family or close family is it easier to go along with something rather than rock the boat?
It’s insincere, and yet not being performative becomes a lot of work. It’s hard, sometimes political, and often exhausting. It means you feel like you have to act and respond in a certain way.
And while it’s insincere, it’s also inauthentic to you. Here are a few steps to start to create the awareness of where you are performing:
Watch yourself and ask: “Am I performing?”
Track when/where you are performing and ask yourself: “Why am I?”
As you become more aware you may start to choose moments where you decide to stop performing
You may see that it is actually a breath of fresh air — that it is easier to do or say the hard thing rather than slip into the pattern of performance. Think before you post on social media. Is your why worth the time? Will it fill you up?
I’m not saying go out tomorrow and remove where you are performing in your life, but as you bring awareness to it you may start to make different decisions.
