A few weeks ago my son finally decided he was ready to learn to tie his shoes.
We got a pair of my shoes out and started going through the process again (we've tried to teach him a few times).
Later that night, my husband and I were chatting about what it was like to watch him learn. As we were chatting we realized that we don't tie our shoes the same way - so we were both showing our son different ways to tie his shoes.
Of course the learner in me, searches online to find out how it is possible we tie our shoes differently and I find out that there is a way called "granny" (how I was taught), and the "reef" way (how my husband was taught).
As I did more research I learn that one is actually better than the other (of course it was the way my husband was taught). He says to me, "yes that must be why your shoes are always coming untied." The reef way uses a square knot and the laces lay straight.
So the next day when it is not late at night I sit down and attempt to tie my shoes the way he was taught. He uses his left hand to start the first loop, whereas I use my right hand, even though we are both right handed.
It is hard. I really try to learn his way, but my muscle memory is so strong for doing something for so long in my life, that it is nearly impossible to change my ways.
Fast forward to this week. I decide to explain to my son the difference between the granny and reef techniques. I want him to see that there are different ways to learn, and some have pros and cons, but I also want to see if I can train my mind again to do it differently. As we are all trying my husband finds a sneaky way for me to still be able to use my right hand first, but create the better (reef) knot.
Just like with tying your shoes, we can learn new ways of doing things -- even 40+ years later. We can retrain our minds. We can learn new things. It starts with the awareness that there are other ways. It means there also needs to be a willingness to be open to new ways. And then you have to try and maybe try again and again.
I am a bit slow when I tie my shoes these days as my brain creates new muscle memory, but here is hoping they do not come untied as often.
Key Takeaways:
We can retrain our brains.
It takes awareness, willingness, and the desire to try.
We all have things in life we would like to change, transform, or look at differently. Working with a Life Coach is a great way to start. I may not be able to help you tie your shoes differently, but reach out to me if you know you want to start the process and make big changes in your life. Together we start the "unlearning" process.
