When we have conflict in our life, that is often a sign of our unmet needs.
The other day was one of those days when my son pushed my every button — even to the point when I was beyond unhappy, he started taunting me and doing every thing he could to giggle about it and of course pissing me off even further.
I negotiated going on a walk with my husband’s schedule in hopes it would bring me some sanity. And I could barely look at my son — he had literally pushed me to the edge. I put on a podcast and (of course, as the universe would have it) the next part on a podcast I listened to was on “navigating conflict.”
And I think — what is my 6 year old teaching me right now? What of my needs are not being met? What of his needs are not being met? And I think about that giggle from him right before I left. He was not taunting me, he was trying to get me to laugh. He was trying to say, “Momma, I am here.” And all I could see was, “Na-na-na-na-boo-boo. I am trying to make you mad.”
I came home from the walk with some ideas of what I can do differently. How I can make sure both of our needs are met without a screaming match — without hurt feelings or grudges.
When you have conflict, what unmet needs are surfacing for you? Is it that you are not being included in that work project? Do you want the respect you deserve? That friend that says they will call but never do? Does it make you feel unloved?
Before we can find out what to do about the conflict we have to find out what need is not being met.
Start there.
If you are struggling to figure out what that need is, sign up for a call with me. I offer 20 minute intro calls to see if you might be a match to coach with me.
Just remember: 1/What is the conflict? 2/What need is not being met? 3/Take the steps to figure out what to do next.
You got this.
