I have more “bummer” memories about the holidays than I have good ones. I remember a few normal ones, but mostly I remember not having the money, my parents fighting, or knowing it would be my grandma, sister and I and the television. Holidays always felt forced, and routine. So I have never been one to really care to continue them or get excited.
But now I have a four year old, who also happens to have been born on Christmas day. Lucky me. This year is the first year he is really asking questions about Santa and presents, and Christmas trees. He still doesn’t really understand what it is all about, and I still am not sure what I want to tell him. I struggle with keeping the wonder, joy, and giving while being surrounded by all the other ways I see the holidays show up for folks — stress, consumerism, and pandering to please others.
This year, while exploring the balance between extreme honesty with a four year old and creating fun and wonder, while also celebrating his 4th year on this planet, I have decided to just have fun. I’m going to make him this crazy truck birthday cake. I’m going to let him open presents whenever we feel like it. I’m not going to do a thing to please anyone.
My secret for you: You make the holidays what you want to make them.
As much as you might think I am crazy, it is true. You get decide how you show up for your family, what story you tell yourself about your past, or what you want to have happen during the holiday. If you need an emergency session to clear the noise in your head about the holidays. Post a comment and let me know.
