I was listening to a podcast today where the speaker being interviewed shared how easy it was for so many of us to say: “I love you” but how hard it is to say: “I need help.”
Hand raised. I am one of those people.
I rarely ask for help.
Asking for help means you have to be vulnerable and trust that someone is going to actually come through for you. Often they don’t.
Or they don’t come through in the way you want them to — I mean what are they, mind readers?
Asking for help might mean talking to a friend when you are at your wits end.
It could be talking to a therapist or hiring a coach.
It really means: “I need you in my corner to listen and help me to reflect, and SEE me.”
When others decide they cannot be there for us (it is always a decision) we make that mean something about us. That we do not deserve the help, or are not worthy.
If that ever happens to you — let that shit go.
People are in their own worlds, have their own problems, and sometimes just can’t be there when we need them.
Forgive them and find someone else.
If it happens over and over again — then maybe stop going to that person, but in the end be vulnerable and ask for the help you need. If you keep putting yourself out there, you will find what you need.
So start asking for help as much as you say I love you.
